Both And

I've been hearing a little feed back about my blogs, especially the one called T minus 45 of Another Sort. It seems that some found it to be dark and brooding. Perhaps it was. There are days when I feel like that and the purpose of the blog is to share those feelings. A journey always has its ups and downs, this one is no exception. 

Today Mark is resting quietly. Helen, a respite nurse and friend is with him. If you asked me how he's doing I'd say, "quite well". That answer of course is relative to his current circumstances. Mark is very week and can't even lift his arm. He's barely able to move his head from side to side and only does that when he feels the return on investment is reasonable. The very sad truth is that Mark is fading away.

As we sit and watch this process some very deep philosophical and theological questions come up, meaning of life questions. I'm not going to float all my questions in this blog as they will provoke more turmoil than peace. I will say that the questions seem to boil down to one of the two following ideas. Are we supposed to live through and learn from this situation or are we supposed to rise to and overcome. I suppose seeing this as a battle then begs the question, which weapons do we choose? 

The most conventional weapon, at least in this time we live in, would be medical science. The most strange, even to many followers of Jesus, would be faith. Faith as a healing mode is only strange because we don't understand it and so many of us live in the modern era that pride's itself of rational knowledge. I have to say I include myself in that group. Although I have embraced the Christian faith as a guide to many of my decisions, I have to say that what I have embraced the most, is the idea of being restored to the Creator by the sacrifice of Jesus. I have bought into, believed in, the idea of being separated from God by my own wilful actions, and then being redeemed or restored by the gift from God. It's a soul level restoration. 

Mark has had this disability from birth. Part of me believes that's just the way he was made. That's the way he's supposed to be. Then another part of me, the timid unsure part of me, believes that there is something wrong here and we need to cry out to Creator to make it right. So, because I can't know for sure, I do both. I live with Mark and celebrate the gift that he is everyday, and I cry out to Creator to redeem this wobbly little oops. I think it's what we mean when we pray, "on earth as it is in heaven". 

Let's not miss the wonders that are part of our journey by wishing for something that we think is better. At the same time, let's not miss an opportunity to experience the awesome redeeming power of the Creator who is Love. It's both and.

W