Suffering Differently

Suffering is a difficult subject. Philosophers and theologians and little people like me have all struggled with the subject. Today I live in the presence of suffering, my son's, my wifes, my daughters and my own. I have seen and been near suffering before and often the experience was painful and full of fear and anxiety.

How does one protect themselves from suffering without abandoning the person who is suffering? These days I often here people express their desire to help us in our suffering by asking, "What can I do?". "What can I do", is all about fixing, or somehow changing without embracing. Somehow the idea of bringing relief to the suffering is the best thing to do. The problem is that unless you have a very specific set of skills you will probably not bring any relief at all. On the other side of the coin, the sufferer is being and not doing. Perhaps the secret to suffering differently is a simple flip of the coin.

If the sufferer could do rather than be, what would that look like? I often think of the fear that is so often present in suffering. Perhaps if the sufferer were to share the sufferings, the fear might diminish. I have a friend who spends his days in a wheelchair. He is highly disabled and yet he lives out his life and struggle with any and all who are willing to receive the gift he offers. What happens as you draw close to him is that the tendency to focus on the suffering is changed into a celebration of life. Likewise, if those looking in on suffering were to set aside the idea of doing and simply be present, then again, the suffering might be transformed into celebration.

We have opened Marky's room to visitors and I've open my heart through this blog, as an act of sharing the suffering. The few who have embraced the opportunity have all gone away with something other than deep sadness. In fact, there is really a strange kind of hope that can come out of this suffering differently. It's not easy but it sure is worth it.

W